Hey MaKenzie. I really love the Grimm Brothers fairytales and learning more about their lives. So, I picked your site for my extra comment! First off, I really like your layout. It matches the theme of your stories and add so much more. Just a personal preference, but I’m not crazy about the font you used in the main stories. It can be a little hard to read. But, if you like it, roll with it. I really like how you started the introduction in the middle of dialogue. For me, that really helps me focus in a get excited for the story. Also, I think the way you integrated the modern with the classic is seamless. I think it works really well together. It’s also fun to see famous storybook characters intertwined in this place. The dialogue between the characters helps move along the reading really well and at a quicker pace, which I really like. Also, I love when introductions end on a little cliffhanger. It always helps me click on the next page! Great Job!
Hey MaKenzi!! I am just so excited to read your stories! I love the fairy tales from the Grimm Brothers. From your introduction I can just tell that your stories are going to be a fun, funky, and fresh update on the classic stories. I just cannot wait for them to be posted. I will definitely be keeping tabs on this storybook, girly swirly. I love that you are giving the stories an updated modern vibe! So much fun! The dialogue in your story was great. It really helps you get a feel for the characters and their individual personalities. The way you've introduced the way the stories will be told is great. I have a clear picture of how everything will be set up in your future stories. There are a couple of places where there wasn't a space between two words, but such an easy fix obviously! Awesome job sister!
Wow this is a really cool theme. Before I decided to do a portfolio for my project, I really wanted to do a storybook related to the Grimm Fairytales, partially because of my last name! I think you did a great job executing the storybook as well. Your introduction was very well written and got me very excited to read your stories. I like the fact that it is talking about a family reunion. To me, a family reunion is a place to tell stories and hear many stories from your family, so this is a perfect way to get into the storytelling. I also got to read your first story, Hansel and Gretel and I thought it was great. I liked every part of it. The dialogue was my favorite part about it. I am really looking forward to the next installation of the Grimm Fairytales.
Okay, um, where to begin? I love the style you’re using. A high school reunion is such a great idea. Also, I feel like weird stuff always happens at high school reunions, so it’s probably fitting. Your intro was a really good way to set the scene, and I was definitely excited to see what stories were going to be told after that. The way Hansel and Gretel told their story was really great. I thought it was engaging and fun, and included a lot of personality. The way they exaggerate the story, though probably not far from the truth, makes them very entertaining characters. I liked that you took out the cannibalism part, as I find that pretty morbid, too. I think having the witch be a crazy murderer makes sense anyways. Why would a witch be normal? I completely understand how the word count constraint makes you eliminate parts of the story you want to include. I found that pretty frustrating when I was writing.
Oh my word – I absolutely love your storybook! The introduction was so fascinating and I am incredibly excited to read more. I found a minor typo – there was no space between “part” and “of” for the “lurking quietly behind…” paragraph. Other than that, there was so much creativity and I love how Snow White’s younger sister was named Rose Red. I think it’s so fun to see how the characters interact with one another and how they tell their stories. For the second story, I would change the “…” to a comma whenever you interject with “Hansel said laughing and nudging Gretel.” Anyways, the Hansel and Gretel story was marvelous and I appreciate how you threw in some comic relief with their side comments. I also like how you included the picture in the middle of the story so I could imagine the scene as I read. For the author’s note, it clarified that the children saved them from wealth, but I didn’t get that from the story – if that could be made a little clearer, that would be great. Anyways, I love your storybook – wonderful job!
This idea for a storybook is pretty freakin clever. I'm impressed! I feel like you set it up in an awesome way. If I didn't initially know what I was looking at, I could have thought that this was a real high school reunion page because you did the layout so well.
I read your story of Hansel and Gretel. I had high expectations for two reasons. First, I have always liked this story since I was a kid. Second, I liked your overall theme a lot so I wanted it to be good. I was curious to see how you would put a high school reunion twist on it. Great job! I liked that you used a lot of dialogue in your story. It really helped me get to know the characters and I could imagine what they would sound like in my head. This strategy made the characters more personal and relatable.
I look forward to reading more tales from the high school reunion in the future!
Wow, I am really captivated by this storybook. I love how you decided to tell each story. I love the safe carefree environment you established with the characters being friends and all. I thought the high school reunion was interesting as well. I would of never thought to do that, and you put it all together so well too! I can really picture the casual setting, just a group of friends chilling around a fire reminiscing about the old days. It worked out really well, that each story seems to have siblings in it. The way you described each group of siblings and their personalities was pretty cool. I am really excited to read the rest of the stories later on in the semester. Your Hansel and Gretel story was really cool and easy to read. I liked the obvious humor in the story, and how both of their personalities showed when they were telling the story too. The way they told the story fits perfectly with the setting you already established in the introduction. I felt like I was sitting by the fire next to them, listening and enjoying their story. Your author’s note was very good, and I like how you took the time to explain the other instances you could not add.
Hi, Makenzi! Your storybook is awesome! I definitely got a high school reunion vibe from your introduction and your first story. I like how you set it in the present, as well, because your modern technology allusions are funny.
I loved your first story! I'm in the Indian Epics class, so it's been really fun to read retellings of some of the Myth-Folklore stories. I like your versions of the characters of Hansel and Gretel. They are so fun, and they tell a pretty grim tale with such a lighthearted spirit. You did an excellent job with the dialogue. All of the characters really stand out. I have a twin brother I'm very close with, so I really enjoyed how you captured the bond between Hansel and Gretel. That was great.
Your theme is so unique, and this is such a cool storybook. I will definitely be checking back later to see what other stories you include!
Very cool idea for a storybook. While scanning the class wall of projects, I saw the title of yours and was quite intrigued, wanting to read more.
First of all, your use of dialogue in the introduction is excellent. It moves the story along so quickly and adds enough detail to keep the narration afloat.
While the story about Hansel and Gretel also has great dialogue, I felt like it could have included more character development through the voice of a narrator. This would have allowed you to convey the many details you mentioned in the author's note - it's difficult to convey the setting and the thoughts of the characters through dialogue alone, I think.
Anyhow, I also appreciated the fact that the dialogue you included is written in a sort of colloquial/slang tone, giving Hansel and Gretel a modern, almost rebellious streak.
I look forward to reading the rest of your storybook. Nice work!
I really like the idea that you had to take the different fairy tale stories that we all know so well and turn it into a high school reunion! It was definitely a creative idea and I can’t wait to read the rest of the stories that you add. I also think that the background and formatting that you chose for the storybook was a great format. Add in the cool photos you have found to add, then it is a great story book overall.
I think having the people who are in the actual stories. Having the characters talk about the stories is a smart idea to keep the stories the same yet make them not the typical stories that we have heard so much before.
One small suggestion I have is that sometimes you tend to get a little confusing with the wording. I know that it can be hard to do, I certainly struggle with being too wordy, but there are a couple of instances where I initially read the phrase and then had to read it a couple more times to understand what you were saying. Other than that, you did a really great job.
I like the idea of having the Grimm's fairy tale characters reunite. I would never have thought to write them as high school classmates, though! I like all of the dialogue in your story, it really breaks it up and makes it easier to read. I wish there was a little more imagery to describe the setting. I imagine a high school with these characters would be a weird, dark place but who knows? I think it was a really good idea to have the stories told around a campfire, it's a really good way to tie them in to the reunion setting. This was my first time visiting so I did not read your first story, but I am excited to do so. I like the original story of Hansel and Gretel, it's so twisted. I also have to say I like your layout and background. I feel like it goes well with the theme of your storybook and found it very easy to read. Good job!
I really like your idea here of having all of the characters from the Grimm fairy tales reunite. It seems like it would certainly be interesting to imagine them all in one single story rather than in a collection of non-connected stories. After reading the introduction, I was certainly enticed to read the story that came next. Good job setting up the idea of the story and drawing in readers. For the Hansel and Gretel story, I really enjoyed how they started off joking about their experience. If I were one of them, I feel like I'd be traumatized, but imagining them laughing about it is so much more satisfying! In your Author's Note, you mentioned that you had a hard time writing this story due to lack of detail. Well, I think the humor in your story certainly made up for the lack of detail in the original story. I really liked your storybook overall. It was easy to read and enjoy. Good job.
Hey MaKenzi! I really liked the way you decided to tell the stories from the perspective of a high school reunion. It added a lot of personality to the characters because they got to contrast situations in the past with the situation now, like with Google Maps. I thought that made it funny and more relatable. I also thought you did a good job of showing how Hansel and Gretel had become closer through the ordeal. One thing you might mention to really push that home is some sort of anecdote showing how they didn't get along before. So maybe they have an argument about the best way to get home or Gretel doubts Hansel's rock idea. Something like that to show that they weren't close before it happened but now they are. Other than that, I thought your story was really well written and I'm looking forward to reading the next one!
MaKenzi, your site theme is great! It really fits with the theme of your story. I have not seen a site similar to yours yet in this class. It is very original. The font is fitting but also easy to read against the background which I find vitally important. I hate when I get a headache trying to make out a font against the background. The site navigation was clean and easy to navigate. I was surprised you only had one tale but I really did enjoy it. The dialogue in the tale was very snappy and back and forth. It really made the tale flow smoothly. The images you chose were quaint and perfect for your tale. I also like how you placed them in your story. I usually place my centered but the way you wrapped your text around the image really incorporated it into the story. Great job!
I really enjoyed your storybook. I read the introduction and the story Hansel and Gretel. I loved how you had it set to be a high school reunion. I also liked how you added the description about the people reuniting with each other so we could get a sense of who was all at this high school reunion. Even the little details about how Snow White is always the leader of the school functions did a really good job of setting up the story. It is interesting to have the story told by the adult version from the original story. I really feel like the introduction set the background perfectly for the storybook. It led right into the first story, which I thought was really good. The Hansel and Gretel story was cute. I liked how you had the conversations between the brother and sister added into the storytelling. Overall, I really enjoyed your storybook.
Hey there, Makenzie! I really enjoyed looking over and reading stories in your Storybook. Your first page was very inviting, and I like the pictures that you chose! I also like the layout that you chose. It reminded me of my high school days and made me really nostalgic! I also liked your introduction. You made a great choice making it dialogue heavy, and it flowed really well! The picture that you chose for this page also fit nicely. Your descriptions were just right, and I loved how you described every character. Your writing is lighthearted, and it made me want to read more of your material! I thought the way you wrote about Hansel and Gretel was precious. I felt like I was there! The language that you used was great too. I think you’ve done a great job with this project so far, and I can’t wait to read more material in the future!
Hey MaKenzie. I really love the Grimm Brothers fairytales and learning more about their lives. So, I picked your site for my extra comment! First off, I really like your layout. It matches the theme of your stories and add so much more. Just a personal preference, but I’m not crazy about the font you used in the main stories. It can be a little hard to read. But, if you like it, roll with it. I really like how you started the introduction in the middle of dialogue. For me, that really helps me focus in a get excited for the story. Also, I think the way you integrated the modern with the classic is seamless. I think it works really well together. It’s also fun to see famous storybook characters intertwined in this place. The dialogue between the characters helps move along the reading really well and at a quicker pace, which I really like. Also, I love when introductions end on a little cliffhanger. It always helps me click on the next page! Great Job!
ReplyDeleteHey MaKenzi!! I am just so excited to read your stories! I love the fairy tales from the Grimm Brothers. From your introduction I can just tell that your stories are going to be a fun, funky, and fresh update on the classic stories. I just cannot wait for them to be posted. I will definitely be keeping tabs on this storybook, girly swirly. I love that you are giving the stories an updated modern vibe! So much fun! The dialogue in your story was great. It really helps you get a feel for the characters and their individual personalities. The way you've introduced the way the stories will be told is great. I have a clear picture of how everything will be set up in your future stories. There are a couple of places where there wasn't a space between two words, but such an easy fix obviously! Awesome job sister!
ReplyDeleteWow this is a really cool theme. Before I decided to do a portfolio for my project, I really wanted to do a storybook related to the Grimm Fairytales, partially because of my last name! I think you did a great job executing the storybook as well. Your introduction was very well written and got me very excited to read your stories. I like the fact that it is talking about a family reunion. To me, a family reunion is a place to tell stories and hear many stories from your family, so this is a perfect way to get into the storytelling. I also got to read your first story, Hansel and Gretel and I thought it was great. I liked every part of it. The dialogue was my favorite part about it. I am really looking forward to the next installation of the Grimm Fairytales.
ReplyDeleteOkay, um, where to begin? I love the style you’re using. A high school reunion is such a great idea. Also, I feel like weird stuff always happens at high school reunions, so it’s probably fitting. Your intro was a really good way to set the scene, and I was definitely excited to see what stories were going to be told after that. The way Hansel and Gretel told their story was really great. I thought it was engaging and fun, and included a lot of personality. The way they exaggerate the story, though probably not far from the truth, makes them very entertaining characters. I liked that you took out the cannibalism part, as I find that pretty morbid, too. I think having the witch be a crazy murderer makes sense anyways. Why would a witch be normal? I completely understand how the word count constraint makes you eliminate parts of the story you want to include. I found that pretty frustrating when I was writing.
ReplyDeleteOh my word – I absolutely love your storybook! The introduction was so fascinating and I am incredibly excited to read more. I found a minor typo – there was no space between “part” and “of” for the “lurking quietly behind…” paragraph. Other than that, there was so much creativity and I love how Snow White’s younger sister was named Rose Red. I think it’s so fun to see how the characters interact with one another and how they tell their stories. For the second story, I would change the “…” to a comma whenever you interject with “Hansel said laughing and nudging Gretel.” Anyways, the Hansel and Gretel story was marvelous and I appreciate how you threw in some comic relief with their side comments. I also like how you included the picture in the middle of the story so I could imagine the scene as I read. For the author’s note, it clarified that the children saved them from wealth, but I didn’t get that from the story – if that could be made a little clearer, that would be great. Anyways, I love your storybook – wonderful job!
ReplyDeleteHi Makenzi!
ReplyDeleteThis idea for a storybook is pretty freakin clever. I'm impressed! I feel like you set it up in an awesome way. If I didn't initially know what I was looking at, I could have thought that this was a real high school reunion page because you did the layout so well.
I read your story of Hansel and Gretel. I had high expectations for two reasons. First, I have always liked this story since I was a kid. Second, I liked your overall theme a lot so I wanted it to be good. I was curious to see how you would put a high school reunion twist on it. Great job! I liked that you used a lot of dialogue in your story. It really helped me get to know the characters and I could imagine what they would sound like in my head. This strategy made the characters more personal and relatable.
I look forward to reading more tales from the high school reunion in the future!
Wow, I am really captivated by this storybook. I love how you decided to tell each story. I love the safe carefree environment you established with the characters being friends and all. I thought the high school reunion was interesting as well. I would of never thought to do that, and you put it all together so well too! I can really picture the casual setting, just a group of friends chilling around a fire reminiscing about the old days. It worked out really well, that each story seems to have siblings in it. The way you described each group of siblings and their personalities was pretty cool. I am really excited to read the rest of the stories later on in the semester.
ReplyDeleteYour Hansel and Gretel story was really cool and easy to read. I liked the obvious humor in the story, and how both of their personalities showed when they were telling the story too. The way they told the story fits perfectly with the setting you already established in the introduction. I felt like I was sitting by the fire next to them, listening and enjoying their story. Your author’s note was very good, and I like how you took the time to explain the other instances you could not add.
Hi, Makenzi! Your storybook is awesome! I definitely got a high school reunion vibe from your introduction and your first story. I like how you set it in the present, as well, because your modern technology allusions are funny.
ReplyDeleteI loved your first story! I'm in the Indian Epics class, so it's been really fun to read retellings of some of the Myth-Folklore stories. I like your versions of the characters of Hansel and Gretel. They are so fun, and they tell a pretty grim tale with such a lighthearted spirit. You did an excellent job with the dialogue. All of the characters really stand out. I have a twin brother I'm very close with, so I really enjoyed how you captured the bond between Hansel and Gretel. That was great.
Your theme is so unique, and this is such a cool storybook. I will definitely be checking back later to see what other stories you include!
Hi MaKenzi,
ReplyDeleteVery cool idea for a storybook. While scanning the class wall of projects, I saw the title of yours and was quite intrigued, wanting to read more.
First of all, your use of dialogue in the introduction is excellent. It moves the story along so quickly and adds enough detail to keep the narration afloat.
While the story about Hansel and Gretel also has great dialogue, I felt like it could have included more character development through the voice of a narrator. This would have allowed you to convey the many details you mentioned in the author's note - it's difficult to convey the setting and the thoughts of the characters through dialogue alone, I think.
Anyhow, I also appreciated the fact that the dialogue you included is written in a sort of colloquial/slang tone, giving Hansel and Gretel a modern, almost rebellious streak.
I look forward to reading the rest of your storybook. Nice work!
MaKenzi,
ReplyDeleteI really like the idea that you had to take the different fairy tale stories that we all know so well and turn it into a high school reunion! It was definitely a creative idea and I can’t wait to read the rest of the stories that you add. I also think that the background and formatting that you chose for the storybook was a great format. Add in the cool photos you have found to add, then it is a great story book overall.
I think having the people who are in the actual stories. Having the characters talk about the stories is a smart idea to keep the stories the same yet make them not the typical stories that we have heard so much before.
One small suggestion I have is that sometimes you tend to get a little confusing with the wording. I know that it can be hard to do, I certainly struggle with being too wordy, but there are a couple of instances where I initially read the phrase and then had to read it a couple more times to understand what you were saying. Other than that, you did a really great job.
I like the idea of having the Grimm's fairy tale characters reunite. I would never have thought to write them as high school classmates, though! I like all of the dialogue in your story, it really breaks it up and makes it easier to read. I wish there was a little more imagery to describe the setting. I imagine a high school with these characters would be a weird, dark place but who knows? I think it was a really good idea to have the stories told around a campfire, it's a really good way to tie them in to the reunion setting. This was my first time visiting so I did not read your first story, but I am excited to do so. I like the original story of Hansel and Gretel, it's so twisted. I also have to say I like your layout and background. I feel like it goes well with the theme of your storybook and found it very easy to read. Good job!
ReplyDeleteI really like your idea here of having all of the characters from the Grimm fairy tales reunite. It seems like it would certainly be interesting to imagine them all in one single story rather than in a collection of non-connected stories. After reading the introduction, I was certainly enticed to read the story that came next. Good job setting up the idea of the story and drawing in readers. For the Hansel and Gretel story, I really enjoyed how they started off joking about their experience. If I were one of them, I feel like I'd be traumatized, but imagining them laughing about it is so much more satisfying! In your Author's Note, you mentioned that you had a hard time writing this story due to lack of detail. Well, I think the humor in your story certainly made up for the lack of detail in the original story. I really liked your storybook overall. It was easy to read and enjoy. Good job.
ReplyDeleteHey MaKenzi! I really liked the way you decided to tell the stories from the perspective of a high school reunion. It added a lot of personality to the characters because they got to contrast situations in the past with the situation now, like with Google Maps. I thought that made it funny and more relatable. I also thought you did a good job of showing how Hansel and Gretel had become closer through the ordeal. One thing you might mention to really push that home is some sort of anecdote showing how they didn't get along before. So maybe they have an argument about the best way to get home or Gretel doubts Hansel's rock idea. Something like that to show that they weren't close before it happened but now they are. Other than that, I thought your story was really well written and I'm looking forward to reading the next one!
ReplyDeleteMaKenzi, your site theme is great! It really fits with the theme of your story. I have not seen a site similar to yours yet in this class. It is very original. The font is fitting but also easy to read against the background which I find vitally important. I hate when I get a headache trying to make out a font against the background. The site navigation was clean and easy to navigate. I was surprised you only had one tale but I really did enjoy it. The dialogue in the tale was very snappy and back and forth. It really made the tale flow smoothly. The images you chose were quaint and perfect for your tale. I also like how you placed them in your story. I usually place my centered but the way you wrapped your text around the image really incorporated it into the story. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your storybook. I read the introduction and the story Hansel and Gretel. I loved how you had it set to be a high school reunion. I also liked how you added the description about the people reuniting with each other so we could get a sense of who was all at this high school reunion. Even the little details about how Snow White is always the leader of the school functions did a really good job of setting up the story. It is interesting to have the story told by the adult version from the original story. I really feel like the introduction set the background perfectly for the storybook. It led right into the first story, which I thought was really good. The Hansel and Gretel story was cute. I liked how you had the conversations between the brother and sister added into the storytelling. Overall, I really enjoyed your storybook.
ReplyDeleteHey there, Makenzie!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed looking over and reading stories in your Storybook. Your first page was very inviting, and I like the pictures that you chose! I also like the layout that you chose. It reminded me of my high school days and made me really nostalgic! I also liked your introduction. You made a great choice making it dialogue heavy, and it flowed really well! The picture that you chose for this page also fit nicely. Your descriptions were just right, and I loved how you described every character. Your writing is lighthearted, and it made me want to read more of your material! I thought the way you wrote about Hansel and Gretel was precious. I felt like I was there! The language that you used was great too. I think you’ve done a great job with this project so far, and I can’t wait to read more material in the future!