"86 years old, God. I AM EIGHTY SIX YEARS OLD. When on earth do you think you could make this whole baby thing happen? I am not getting any younger." Abraham began to cry out to the empty field when he finally realized he couldn't contain his anger anymore.
Sarah, who had just happened to walk outside, overheard her angry, screaming husband. Like him, she was fed up with not being able to conceive a child. She had spent many a night tossing and turning, trying to remain trusting in the Lord's plan for her, but she just knew she couldn't do it anymore. It was time she take action and come up with a plan. She and Abraham were going to bare a child, and there was nothing anyone could do to stop this plan.
Sarah wandered into the garden where she knew she'd find their housemaid, Hagar. Hagar was busy harvesting various plants, humming soft, sweet tunes aloud.
"Okay, Hagar. I have a major proposition for you. Are you ready for it?" Sarah rattled off, wasting no time for any small talk.
"Uhm...I mean. Well. I guess? What could that possibly mean?" Hagar stuttered, staring at Sarah as though she had just dropped a bomb on Hagar's head.
"Okay, well Abraham and I have been trying to have a kid for years. YEARS. And we're both extremely tired and fed up. We want to become parents SO badly, and God has told us we are to become them, but so far we are stuck. So we were thinking, what if you bare the child?" Sarah began to explain.
A long wave of silence was placed between both parties, and eventually Sarah had the nerve to speak.
"So, you're cool with that? Great. I'll go let Abe know!"
A few weeks later, Hagar found herself in the most unfit predicament. She was in fact pregnant with Abraham's baby, but Sarah's attitude toward the entire situation had completely changed. Hagar's chores began to pile up, and Sarah was suggesting even the most absurd duties. After days of performing ridiculous tasks for Sarah, Hagar finally realized this was Sarah's way of "getting back" at her. Abraham noticed Hagar's reluctancy to work as hard as she normally did, and he decided to get to the bottom of the situation.
"Hagar, I noticed you haven't been performing your normal duties. Is everything alright? I, of course, don't want you to harm our child, but it seems as though you are not yourself," Abraham questioned.
"I can't do this anymore, Abraham. Sarah is running me thin, and I know she's doing it all to spite me. She can't handle the fact that I am with your child. It her idea!! That's it, I AM OUT OF HERE!" Hagar professed with a voice that rose with every word.
"Hagar, I noticed you haven't been performing your normal duties. Is everything alright? I, of course, don't want you to harm our child, but it seems as though you are not yourself," Abraham questioned.
"I can't do this anymore, Abraham. Sarah is running me thin, and I know she's doing it all to spite me. She can't handle the fact that I am with your child. It her idea!! That's it, I AM OUT OF HERE!" Hagar professed with a voice that rose with every word.
Immediately, Hagar packed up her belongings and set foot on a journey to a land just south of Canaan. Abraham tried running after her, but she was quick on her feet. He was unable to spot her, so he knew he'd just have to let her go.
"I can't even look at Sarah. It's so not fair that I am being punished for doing EXACTLY what she asked me to do," were the only thoughts Hagar could even conceive throughout her journey. After what seemed like days, Hagar finally arrived in a small town known as Shur. She had been wandering for days without any sign of civilization, and she was starving and thirsty. Luck would have it that she would stumble right into a fountain, just on the edge of the town. While Hagar was slowly sipping on some fresh water from the fountain, a beautiful, bright angel appeared in front of her.
"Hagar! What are you doing away from Canaan? Where do you think you're going? You are with child!" spoke the angel of the Lord.
Hagar stood at the fountain in awe, and the only words she seemed to be able to muster up were, "I ran away from Sarah. I couldn't do it anymore. She was so rude; I just couldn't stand it."
Seeing Hagar in complete distress, the angel comforted her and then politely commanded, "I promise, if you go back and see Sarah, I will bless you all of your days. The child you currently bare will be a son, and he shall be named Ishmael. Your son will be strong and mighty and go forth to do wonderful things."
Hagar did as the angel instructed to do, and nine months later, Hagar gave birth to a healthy baby boy named Ishmael. The moment Sarah laid eyes on the child, fits of envy and rage overcame her.
"Get her out of here! I never want to see that boy of hers. Ishmael will NEVER be considered a brother to Isaac," Sarah roared at Abraham.
(Hagar in the Wilderness, by Tiepolo)
Knowing the pain and hurt Hagar had caused, she was ashamed. She once again ran away, this time with the intention of getting rid of the baby. She fled to the nearest outskirts of the town and placed Ishmael in a basket underneath a tree, in the hopes that someone would find him and raise him to be the boy of the Lord that had been promised upon him. Suddenly, an angel of the Lord appeared again, surprising Hagar.
"Hagar, please don't be afraid. There is no reason to listen to the envy of Sarah. This boy shall go on to do wonderful things. As always, He will provide."
Hagar stammered for a moment, and suddenly a fountain appeared. She knew this was God's way of protecting her son. With a sudden sense of relief, Hagar took off down the road again. She knew her boy was safe, and that trusting that God was keeping Ishmael save and secure was the only thing she could do.
Author's Note: This story is my adaptation of the story out of the book of Genesis about the female character Hagar. I found this story under the Bible Women unit, and thought the story was really interesting. In the original story, Hagar is a servant to Sarah and Abraham. The couple are well into their seventies/eighties and have been unable to bare children. God has promised them that Sarah will one day become pregnant, but after years of trying to conceive a child, Sarah and Abraham grow frustrated and give up. Sarah comes up with a plan for Hagar to have their child instead. However, Sarah grows in fury seeing Hagar give birth to her husband's child, even though the idea was originally hers. The story above is fairly close to the original story; however more direct dialogue and scenery was added to the mix. The dialogue is a bit more tailored to the way one would hear someone speak in this day and age; therefore, making my story more on the modern side of things. The main goal for this story was to provide a bit of a modern re-telling of a story that is somewhat unfamiliar and bring it to life. I originally chose this story because I thought it (sort of) address an issue that many people today face - surrogacy. Although Hagar was the actual mother of baby Ishmael rather than Sarah (which would be typical of a surrogate situation), I feel like some of Sarah's resentment could be similar to how a mother awaiting her child from a surrogate mother would feel.
Bibliography: King James Bible (1611): Genesis 18
"I can't even look at Sarah. It's so not fair that I am being punished for doing EXACTLY what she asked me to do," were the only thoughts Hagar could even conceive throughout her journey. After what seemed like days, Hagar finally arrived in a small town known as Shur. She had been wandering for days without any sign of civilization, and she was starving and thirsty. Luck would have it that she would stumble right into a fountain, just on the edge of the town. While Hagar was slowly sipping on some fresh water from the fountain, a beautiful, bright angel appeared in front of her.
"Hagar! What are you doing away from Canaan? Where do you think you're going? You are with child!" spoke the angel of the Lord.
Hagar stood at the fountain in awe, and the only words she seemed to be able to muster up were, "I ran away from Sarah. I couldn't do it anymore. She was so rude; I just couldn't stand it."
Seeing Hagar in complete distress, the angel comforted her and then politely commanded, "I promise, if you go back and see Sarah, I will bless you all of your days. The child you currently bare will be a son, and he shall be named Ishmael. Your son will be strong and mighty and go forth to do wonderful things."
Hagar did as the angel instructed to do, and nine months later, Hagar gave birth to a healthy baby boy named Ishmael. The moment Sarah laid eyes on the child, fits of envy and rage overcame her.
"Get her out of here! I never want to see that boy of hers. Ishmael will NEVER be considered a brother to Isaac," Sarah roared at Abraham.
(Hagar in the Wilderness, by Tiepolo)
Knowing the pain and hurt Hagar had caused, she was ashamed. She once again ran away, this time with the intention of getting rid of the baby. She fled to the nearest outskirts of the town and placed Ishmael in a basket underneath a tree, in the hopes that someone would find him and raise him to be the boy of the Lord that had been promised upon him. Suddenly, an angel of the Lord appeared again, surprising Hagar.
"Hagar, please don't be afraid. There is no reason to listen to the envy of Sarah. This boy shall go on to do wonderful things. As always, He will provide."
Hagar stammered for a moment, and suddenly a fountain appeared. She knew this was God's way of protecting her son. With a sudden sense of relief, Hagar took off down the road again. She knew her boy was safe, and that trusting that God was keeping Ishmael save and secure was the only thing she could do.
Author's Note: This story is my adaptation of the story out of the book of Genesis about the female character Hagar. I found this story under the Bible Women unit, and thought the story was really interesting. In the original story, Hagar is a servant to Sarah and Abraham. The couple are well into their seventies/eighties and have been unable to bare children. God has promised them that Sarah will one day become pregnant, but after years of trying to conceive a child, Sarah and Abraham grow frustrated and give up. Sarah comes up with a plan for Hagar to have their child instead. However, Sarah grows in fury seeing Hagar give birth to her husband's child, even though the idea was originally hers. The story above is fairly close to the original story; however more direct dialogue and scenery was added to the mix. The dialogue is a bit more tailored to the way one would hear someone speak in this day and age; therefore, making my story more on the modern side of things. The main goal for this story was to provide a bit of a modern re-telling of a story that is somewhat unfamiliar and bring it to life. I originally chose this story because I thought it (sort of) address an issue that many people today face - surrogacy. Although Hagar was the actual mother of baby Ishmael rather than Sarah (which would be typical of a surrogate situation), I feel like some of Sarah's resentment could be similar to how a mother awaiting her child from a surrogate mother would feel.
Bibliography: King James Bible (1611): Genesis 18
My first thought after reading this was, "huh, i've never read a biblical story put into more modern prose." It was really interesting to read a story I was familiar with, but written with such different flow and wording. I really enjoyed it! I liked how you made Hagar sound just like any of us would if we were in her situation. The way you wrote this made i more applicable to modern life, even if it's still in a biblical time with different customs. Just changing how everyone spoke made the story easier to read and more relatable. I also like that you included more direct dialogue, it breaks up the story nicely and adds depth to the characters by giving them different tones and more visible personalities. this dialogue also spurred more independent thought such as, "do modern-day surrogates ever face situations like this? Do they ever experience jealousy like Hagar did?" I know modern women in surrogate situations are likely (hopefully) not slaves/servants, but I feel like the emotions could still be there.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I think you did a really great job with this storytelling!
I totally agree with Bria. This is such a cool modern take on an old biblical story. The story was light and easy to read, while also staying interesting. I've never learned so much from a biblical story than from yours. You did a great job!
ReplyDeleteThis was a great read MaKenzi! I love your take on an old story and bring it into modern writing. It made it fun and even more interesting to read. This is such a great story and I loved your creative outlook on it. You did a great job giving these characters personalities and making the reader really understand this awesome story. Thanks for the great story, looking forward to reading more!
ReplyDeleteAs everyone above has already stated, your modern take on a biblical story was quite well done. This isn't one of the biblical stories that I'm familiar with (I'm regrettably one of those people who goes to church only on Christmas and Easter), but I felt that your retelling surely captured the original story quite well. Even though many of the messages of the Bible are archaic and arcane due to the style in which it is written, your modern retelling really brought the message into an understandable context. That being said, it sounds like you successfully completed the goal you mentioned in the author's note: "to provide a bit of a modern re-telling of a story that is somewhat unfamiliar and bring it to life."
ReplyDeleteIn addition, I (apparently mistakenly) thought that the Bible focused almost exclusively on stories that revolve around males. I'm glad I read this story - it showed me that there are women involved in the Bible as well. It is regrettable to think that of all the stories I've heard from the Bible, so few have females as the main character. I guess I fell into the trap of assuming everything always revolves around males. Shame on me. Anyway, I really enjoyed your story! Kudos.